Starting Over

It’s wild I never thought I’d be promoted into getting back into blog posting again. But I think it’s necessary now. Especially since I’m in my 846,491th reset lol.

I came across this Reddit Post of a young kid who went thru what life is and it happened HARD. And he was so beside himself. I love reading on Reddit it’s like one of my old lady past times now. Who needs a newspaper when there’s Reddit!?

Reading it made me think back to when I was his age and is that a thing?? Do we all think our lives are over at 25 when one or 8 hiccups happen? Then I started thinking about the other times I felt my life was over. At 27, 28, 29 — 34… it’s surreal how much life defines us and how much things change. I’ll be 39 next month. I am petrified. I’ve seen 40year old women and they are scary. I don’t wanna be like that. But even at this big age of 38ish I just lost my job, I’m starting over again and I’m trying to stay afloat while trying to do the right thing and be a better person. It’s so hard. Granted I definitely had a few depressing moments and I literally sat here the other day like I feel like such a loser. Like girl what is wrong with you??

If you felt that way too, listen we besties now. What prompted me was not the lack of funds or savings, or the urgency of bills due. Not even the unforeseen future of being homeless (again) or having another crash out that would prompt a medical Lyft ride to the crazy house. Nope. It was the feeling that I wanted something more. I want to do more. I want to be financially free from someone else’s scrutiny and personal feelings on me because don’t fit the clique. I said dammit imma make this work. I’m gonna build something bigger and better than what I’ve already got.

Then honestly the reset didn’t seem so bad anymore. Granted I did get my reality check and twisted my ankle that’s been broken. And I had to sit down and nap. So what I’m almost 40 and I’m job searching yet again to make sure that I don’t end up homeless and I can buy my cats that fancy ass shitbox for $200. It is what it is.

It might be the end of the world for a temporary moment. But doesn’t mean it’s the end of your book. Just a funky ass chapter that we will NEVER EVER talk about again. Unless it’s reset 846,492.

So I hope this comes as some encouragement to whoever needs a pick me up. Better days are ahead. But we gotta deal with the bad ones first so we know how to appreciate the good ones. It takes a few head bumps to really get it right. That’s perfectly ok!